Inula Austin Soul Growth

This physical life may be fraught with troubles.

Ups and downs may happen occasionally or even be a more frequent pattern of everyday existence for many and it can become easy to think that there may never be any rest from incessant thoughts, decision making, anxiety, depression or many other internal and external troubles.When I speak to participants at classes and workshops about finding ‘rest’ or a deep sense of personal inner peace, many think that that is an unattainable state for them.

If you think that peace is something that can only be achieved by enlightened masters, then I’d urge you to read on. The gift of resting in peaceful presence is something that anyone can unwrap. Quiet awareness, a state of pure being is your natural state and is therefore not so much a practice as an unlearning or an undoing. Most of us are unconscious of the thousands of thoughts that speed through our minds on a daily basis.

We lack self awareness.

Thoughts are neither good nor bad, but we tend to use them as beliefs upon which to hang our ideas of personality and character. They give us a sense of individual I-ness, which along with the ego, perpetuates the Illusory ‘individual self’. You are not an illusion. You absolutely DO exist, however, the ‘you’ that you believe you are is only the temporal, finite part of the whole picture. We often get so caught up in the illusion of the impermanent physical world that we loose sight of the infinite reservoir of peaceful awareness that lies at the heart of and is, our true being.

The place that is not rocked by outward troubles or inner thoughts, but is the quiet observer of it all.

So what does it meam to rest in this awareness? Firstly, forget any ideas you may have about silencing your thoughts, pushing away physical sensations of discomfort, sitting for hours in the lotus position (unless that’s how you normally sit!) or falling asleep. When I speak of ‘resting’ in this context, I mean becoming a gentle, non-judgemental observer of everything that is happening, from moment to moment. Once you find a comfortable seated posture, you may close your eyes (or leave them open if you wish) then you gently assume the role of simply being witness to all that arises.

Sometimes you may just allow a moment or two to hear the different sounds around you fading in and out, to bring you back in touch with the present moment before unhooking from any thoughts and resting once more in awareness. Many of us are unaware that we may choose to accept or allow our thoughts, emotions and sensations to arise and fall away without intervening on some level. As human beings we may spend a lot of our lives in judgement of ourselves and others and it may feel strange or even impossible to think of accepting an internal voice that is always criticizing and belittling you. When I speak of ‘acceptance’ I am not for a moment suggesting that you must agree with or like your thoughts and inner mind chatter, but allowing them to be there creates space; a space that can eventually grow and blossom into an awareness of your true, restful Self.

When we experience painful emotions such as grief, anger, fear, loneliness or sadness, our natural reaction is to push them down or away, to squash them and their connected physical sensations. Some people do this by misusing substances like food, alcohol and drugs. Others use over work, over exercising or sexual encounters to numb the uncomfortable feelings that they are experiencing. Being able to allow things to be just as they are, without needing to change or fix them, without judging them as good, bad or indifferent, can provide a great sense of relief and ultimately inner peace, in time cultivating a safe container in which we can move past such judgements and back into harmony with ourselves and others.                       

(Of course, this is not a call to continue to accept the toxic behaviour of yourself or others. But it may allow you the awareness you need to find a positive solution, perhaps with the help and guidance of a mediator, therapist or spiritual director.)

The key to resting in open hearted awareness is having compassion for yourself (and ultimately for others). 

Our emotions and monkey mind can often make us feel like our own worst enemy at times, but with kind and gentle nurturing, we can re-establish balance through the spiritual reparenting of ourselves.When you notice a thought, emotion or judgement arise during practice, your knee jerk reaction maybe to think ‘I knew I’d be rubbish at this’ or ‘I can never do anything right!’ Perhaps you try to push the thoughts away. Instead of letting this harsh inner critic derail your good intentions, pause and take a moment to show yourself some compassionate wisdom. Sometimes placing your hand on your heart centre as you offer your wounded or upset inner self some kind words can really bring a depth of heart-felt comfort and much needed compassion.

You may wish to sense or visualise a wise figure, a spiritual master like Jesus, Divine Mother, Kwan Yin, or some other benevolent guide or all loving angelic being, to show you compassion and generosity of spirit in such moments.

You can imagine them placing a hand on your shoulder or taking your hands in theirs and saying something like ‘I’m here to take care of you’ or ‘we can do this together.’ Finding compassion for yourself in these moments, is an incredible act of self care and far from being self indulgent, it can enable you to comfortably return to your practice without spiralling further into more mental narration and criticism. It is the gift of unconditional friendliness and non judgemental compassion that you may offer to yourself again and again.

ROUND UP:

• Sit in a comfortable position.                     
• Start with 10 minutes and increase slowly.                                                                
• Choose an anchor word, phrase or the breath to return your awareness again and again.                                                          
• Accept all that arises in each moment.
• Everything belongs. We are not trying to eliminate thoughts, feelings bags or sensations here. You may try naming what arises; ‘Discomfort’ and then offer a word or two of acceptance ‘you belong’ or ‘you too.’                                                       
• Open heartedness is inclusive of all things and encompasses our whole experience. It allows us to remain as non-judgemental observer, or awareness.                                                        
• Use self compassion or nurturing instead of criticism or judgement.
• Choose a wise, loving, benevolent figure or person you know (passed or present) and visualise them giving kind insight and comfort to anything disquieting that arises.                                                                 
• If anything surfaces that you feel you are unable to handle by yourself, seek the instruction or guidance of a qualified therapist, spiritual director or meditation teacher.

The gift of resting in open hearted awareness is that eventually, with continued practice, you may be able to find deep calm and inner peace in the most stressful moments and even better still, you may find that the gentle, subtle, loving awareness that you truly are will become the larger part of You that you live from in each and every moment.

(**If you have PTSD or any chronic emotional or psychological condition please seek the guidance of your therapist or health care provider before embarking on any meditation or awareness practice.**)

(Guided Audio Meditation to follow shortly!)