Inula Austin Soul Growth

We all struggle at times to forgive.

When I work with Clients on healing from past wounds the topic of forgiveness is crucial in helping them to clear a pathway and move forwards.

I always say that when we forgive it does not necessarily mean that we condone. You may have been treated abhorrently by another person, but you may still learn to forgive.

There is never any pressure to forgive another if you don’t feel that is something you wish to do, though I would encourage everyone to let go of any bitterness, anger or hatred towards anyone who has harmed them.

We tend to perpetuate these emotions as a form of self-punishment which increases the likelihood that these wounds may be passed down through the generations to come.

If you feel imprisoned in past scenarios or events, you may need to practice Forgiveness, of yourself and/or another.

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the prison door.

None of this is easy and it might mean confronting memories and emotions which you have kept hidden for a long time. You may fear the repurcutions of releasing these wounds or be fearful that you might lose control of your senses in the process.

These are totally valid feelings, very common and natural. I would always suggest seeking the help of a qualified and registered therapist if you fear that any trauma or memory might be too overwhelming to deal with by yourself, or if any emotional wound is limiting your ability to live your life to the fullest.

Forgive Yourself

Start with yourself. When bad things happen to us at any point in our life or we hit on any difficulty many of us notice a distinct change in our inner dialogue. Our inner voice may go from being friendly and supportive to becoming critical or bullying. Forgiveness of Self may be helpful in making friends with yourself again.

If you often hear your inner voice calling yourself ‘stupid’ or ‘an idiot’ etc, know that these are often the ‘recordings’ of the voices of our primary carers as children. We learn how to speak to ourselves by listening to how parents, guardians or teachers spoke to us as children. We learn to take on those voices as our own inner dialogue and in times of stress or disappointment, those are the words we hear.

Forgiving yourself needn’t be a protracted process. Simply choosing an affirmation that positively reinforces that you are now able to take care of yourself may be enough.

‘I forgive myself completely in this moment.’

‘I forgive myself for not knowing/doing/understanding better.’

‘I forgive myself and release all negative feelings.’

Whatever words resonate with you are just fine.

Native American Forgiveness Ritual

Amongst Native North American peoples the art of forgiveness is fundamental to the growth of both the individual and their community. Amongst the Cherokee Nation forgiveness is a basic ritual.

Once a year a ceremony is held where everyone is encouraged to make room for forgiveness.

The individual goes to the edge of a river, stream or the ocean and splashes the waters over their shoulders seven times. Washing away expectations, releasing attachments to outcomes and forgiving self and others.

It is firmly believed that this ritual cleansing and purification may heal the deepest emotional wounds and re-establish broken friendships anew.

The understanding that permeates this entire ceremony is that if the time and space is not made to renew and forgive, suffering will only continue. So a vow is made to forgive, forget and start afresh.

Creating Your Own Forgiveness Ceremony

The Cherokee People believe that the most auspicious time for this ritual is the Spring New Moon, however, it can be practiced at any time.

You may simply sit quietly and imagine yourself at the waters edge, you may prefer to go to a natural outdoor water source to perform the cleansing or you may simply use a bowl of water (or shower) at home!

Before you begin it is customary to offer a prayer of thanks and gratitude for the opportunity of renewal, to see yourself and others in a more positive light and to release your burdens.

Throw water over your shoulders seven times.

Picture the water washing away all that stands in the way of good friendships and a good relationship with yourself. See all obstacles to healthy friendships with your family and community being swept away.

As the water washes over you, allow a sense of forgiveness to also wash over yourself.

Say to yourself: ‘I wash away ignorance, I wash away doubts, fears, loneliness. I release the sorrow from my heart and soul, I set aside anger. I forgive myself. I forgive all others. I bathe in the golden light of a new day.’

Visualise a beautiful ray of rose pink coloured light radiating from your own heart and reaching out, touching the hearts of all those whom may have hurt or upset you, anyone with whom you have had crossed wires or discord. See the rose pink light returning back to you and filling your Heart Centre.

As you step back from the water, know that all of yesterday’s wounds are completely healed. Thank God, The Great Spirit, The Universe, Source, for this wonderful new beginning!

In the Cherokee tradition, discord causes imbalance in the energy meridians of an individual and their community. Harmony and balance are essential to all things. It is believed that if an imbalance is left unaddressed in one person, crops may fail or disease may effect the whole Clan. In this tradition no one is left alone or separated and everyone’s mental, physical and spiritual harmony is considered important to the whole.

We are ALL connected. Forgiving yourself and others may have positive effects that ripple out far beyond that which you might imagine.

Let me know how you get on!

xoxo

(Ritual idea based on similar from ‘Voices of Our Ancestors. Cherokee Teachings From The Wisdom Fire’ by Dhyani Ywahoo. 1987 Shambala Publishing.)