Many of us are are trapped in conditioned beliefs that if we do anything to take care of our selves and our own wellbeing, then we are selfish.
As mothers, fathers, partners, sons and daughters we each have a multitude of responsibilities, yet I would argue that the most fundamental of all of these is personal responsibility.
There are many Universal Spiritual Laws, just as there are physical laws. The law of ‘Personal Responsibility’ is but one. This immutable governing force ensures that we have the ability change our own lives, have control over the choices we make and the consequences that ensue from such choices.
Simply put, we are the captains of our own ship, the masters and mistresses of our own destiny and whilst the energy and behaviour of others may impact on our world and our choices to a certain degree, we are always able to change the outcome of our lives.
When we accept and understand that we may change our lives and direction at any moment, that we are empowered to live a life that we deserve, we may be liberated from the shackles that we and others impose upon us.
Self Compassion is the starting point of taking back your life. Listening to your own inner voice, honouring your emotions and allowing yourself to be guided by your inate intuition, is all part of having compassion for the Self.
Establishing and honouring healthy boundaries is an important message of self respect that also serves to protect your energy. Acting from a place of love for one’s self also sends a message to others about how you wish to be treated.
Self Compassion means that we hold our own health and wellbeing in the highest esteem. Without giving thought to our own balance we are less able to give time, care and understanding to others around us.
We should really try to drop the wasted energies of shame and guilt. These are often emotional wounds and narratives that we inherit from our primary carers, who implicitly (or explicitly) share their own inherited scripts of ‘Self Compassion and care equals Selfishness’ with us from a young age.
Without putting your own needs first what do you have to give to the rest of the world?
Self Compassion asks that you speak to yourself with gentleness and kindness, with respect and appreciation. You deserve to be loved and understood. Many people go through life searching for these things outside of themselves, expecting others to provide these things for you when you may not be giving them to yourself is frankly, dillusional.
Separating Self Care from the media idea of bubble baths and chocolates is also essential. Such tropes only perpetuate low expectations of self and others; does eating a box of chocolates make up for years of self neglect? Is taking a bubble bath an antedote to unhappy relationships?
Whilst we all like and deserve treats, in raising our sights and our expectations, we send ourselves the message of self worth, which is an important component in living a fulfilled and contented life.
How might you speak in a kinder way to yourself? How could you show yourself more understanding, kindness and appreciation?
How do you want others to treat you? Do you show yourself the care you seek from others? If not, why not?
You can have a better life if you choose to, taking small steps to empower yourself is a fabulous place to start.
Inula Austin Soul Growth 